As you’ve probably read about me, I am in my final year of undergrad. That is a thing that both excites and scares me. I never imagined this anxiety about leaving school. I always thought that I would be so happy to be done with this chapter in my life. I always planned to immediately go into grad school for both music and psychology. Get my Master’s degree for both, and then on to my PhD, but now I’m not so certain. I definitely know that I will get my Master’s and PhD, but the thing is, do I want to do that right away? Or maybe take a year off and experience some other part of life that doesn’t deal with just school and work. The latter sounds way more appealing to me. I would love to just have a year of relaxation and no stress before I dive into grad school for the next 4 years of my life. What other time will I get an opportunity like this in my life? Right now is the best time to do it. I don’t have any huge responsibilities. I don’t have a job that is tying me down, school will be over, The BF will be in his last year of Veterinary school in another state. The choice really seems so obvious, but my mind is not yet made up. Really, I still have a few months to think about it before I have to take the GRE’s and apply to grad schools. Ugh! Decisions decisions. I really really…REALLY hate making decisions. I blame it on the Sag thing. It doesn’t matter how big or small the decision is, I can’t help but treat it like it’s the biggest decision of my life. Here is an example of what I mean.
A couple years ago, The BF and I went into Forever 21 because I wanted to look around. Well, I stumbled upon these 2 beautiful dresses that I absolutely loved. I tried them both on, took pictures so that he could see what it looked like, and came out with both dresses in hand. He told me which one of the dresses was his favorite, but I still couldn’t decide which one I preferred. To make a long story short, we stayed in there for FOUR FRICKEN HOURS because I couldn’t decide on a dress. Looking back now, I realize just how ridiculous that is, but at the time, it was the most important decision of my life! Some of you are probably thinking, well why the hell didn’t you just buy both dresses? Well that’s because I only had enough money for one of them cuz they were kinda pricey…for a Forever 21 dress .My best friend and I always joke about how awful it will be for me when the time comes for me to pick wedding dresses. Ugh, just thinking of that gives me so much anxiety, so I won’t think about that. It’s not like I’m engaged anyway, so whatever.
Anyway, that’s just a little example. So imagine how I feel right now about having to make these decisions about my life. I’ll probably look back at my ridiculousness in a couple of years and roll my eyes or something, but I’m not doing that right now and that’s all that matters to me.
I’m sure I’ll figure it out in due time. For now, I’ll try to focus on finishing my summer classes and enjoying the rest of the summer as much as possible before the semester starts.
Love always, Weezybaby!