You know one of those days where everything that can go wrong does? Yes that’s exactly the kind of day I’m having.
When I got home from work this morning, I told myself that I would have a good day because I thought that if I said it and believed it, that it would happen. So, I made breakfast, took a shower, did my makeup and hair, and left for school. The day started off fine. It’s starting to warm up here and finally starting to feel like spring a little bit, so this put me in a better mood even though I was tired from working all night.
So around 1pm, right before chorus (I’m a music major and am required to take it every semester), my phone slips from my coat and completely shatters. I mean it was probably only a fall from 2 feet, but that did it. The fall completely shatters my Iphone, and when I go to pick it up, it cuts my hand, and to top it off now it doesn’t stay on unless it is plugged in. And even when it’s plugged in, it still doesn’t want to work.
I don’t want to seem like I’m complaining about my stupid phone breaking when people in the world have it so much worst. It’s just the fact that it’s another thing. Things keep happening, and keep going wrong. Every time I want to complain or cry or ask God why, I don’t because I say to myself that I should be grateful and it could be a lot worse.
At least I have a home, and people who love me. At least I have a car that I can drive. At least I can go to school and study whatever my heart desires. At least I am somewhat free to make my own choices. At least I have food when I’m hungry, and water when I’m thirsty. At least I have a job and can pay my own bills. But sometimes, I guess it’s okay to say that it’s not all okay. I am lucky to have all of these things, but obviously if I keep having to suppress this serious need to just cry and cry, then maybe it is not okay. And that’s okay.
It’s okay for me to admit that all is not okay. I’m just tired of everything. But I won’t complain because I hate complaining. I hate people who complain. I know this is bad since I’m also a psych major, but I don’t plan on being a clinician, so it’s all good. I feel like we all have things that we go through, and that’s why I usually keep everything to myself and write it in my journal. I hate for anyone to think that I’m complaining. I don’t even really know what I’m saying right now. I was just on my laptop and just felt the need to cry, so I decided to write instead.
I still won’t allow the tears to fall.
At least that’s something I have control over right?
So I guess I’ll stop this rant and finally go work on this paper that’s due tomorrow. I can’t keep procrastinating.
I hope that you’re all having a better week than I am, I truly do.
Love always, Weezy!